Dear John McCain Letter

To: Senator John McCain
info@johnmccain.com

RE: Little Pink Houses


Dear John;

Been a bad week hasn't it? The campaign trail is certainly starting to wear on you and I know just how you feel. It was just this week that I realized I had no idea how many pairs of socks I had. Then here I was at my local best buy purchasing another copy of ABBA Gold CD only to get home and find out I had another two copies at home! I laughed and laughed over that senior
moment.

So I can feel for you. Those multiple house questions can really be a bitch. Is it 4 or 5? 7? 8? It gets tricky trying to keep them all straight. At least you have your staff to keep track for you - Oh wait no. Even they are not so sure. They figured 7 but the others say 8. Oh well what's a house here and there amongst the electorate huh?

Don't get me wrong. We all have senior moments. And I'm sure that being confused about your real estate holdings can't be a comment on your ability to lead right? Or your man of the people image. After all all those people facing foreclosure on their one shack will certainly understand that you are one of them what with your multiple addresses and 10 million in property.

It makes me wonder. How do you get into each of them? Do have like one of those big key rings on your belt - the one with the retractable cord so you can open all those doors? Maybe you have a staff member carry them for you. Or perhaps Cindy drags em around in her Gucci Clutch. I'm assuming they are color coded. With those little colorful key covers from home depot to remind you.

I've attached a map showing all the properties just in case you need a handy reference. Perhaps one of your staff members could print it out for you? You can fold it up in your wallet or something for safe keeping - never know when you might get lost! I would point you to "the Google" maps - but I think it is best if you go with the tried and true low tech approach.

Just for the record I have one house. That's it - I feel so insignificant. But! I do have two Fridges. One for every day brie and another where I keep the un-wooded chardonnay chilled. But that's just me.


Your elitist single house friend;


Mark Patten